A second trailer of “Cats” landed on YouTube a few days ago. And the Internet is “in love” with it.
Some trailers are a lot to process, right?
When the new look of Sonic was revealed in its first short teaser, people went batshit crazy. Indeed, he looked scarier than I remembered. But the Internet cried. Loud and with lots of fury.
Few weeks later – a new, better version of Sonic was published.
The new hate – “Cats”
Once the dust settled, and we all got Sonic the Hedgehog we deserve (and the one we fought for), Universal Pictures got everybody’s attention by posting “Cats” trailer.
The world exploded. But before I dig into that further, let’s clear the air – what’s so special about “Cats”?
“Cats” has been one of the most successful sung-through musical in the history of Broadway. Continuously shown since 1981, it has been awarded multiple Tony Awards too (think of them as the Oscars for theatre). It’s Broadway’s legacy and pride.
It seems quite obvious that Hollywood wanted a bite of this cake as well. Because “Cats”, thanks to its brand, could easily turn into a box office hit. If done right.
However, judging from the trailer below, it might be rather difficult to even hit break-even.
Let’s start from the scratch. “Cats” boasts a tremendous cast – Idris Elba, Judi Dench, Taylor Swift, Jason Derulo, even sir Ian McKellen – many Hollywood filmmakers would love to have these people on board. But all of these stars are covered with a disturbingly unrealistic CGI fur that I’m pretty certain derives from somebody’s nightmare.
I’ll get to more details regarding this trailer and what’s so wrong with it, but as you can imagine, the visuals were the reason of the outcry.
In other words, the Internet left no stone un-thrown.
People are absolutely hating the trailer, and as it usually happens, there are some genius comments and rants thrown around.
Here are some of them.
Pennywise: I’m the scariest thing in cinema history.
Cats: hold my hair ball.
Catwoman: I’m the worst cat’s movie ever.
Cats: Hold my sand box.
This movie would become the best movie ever just if they put Nicolas Cage on it.
Destroy this movie and any trace of the ashes left behind.
This new breed of horror films is really getting scarier.
This is a prime example of “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should“.
This is more terrifying than “don’t hug me I’m scared”
This is what the people in the birdbox saw before they die.
Okay, what’s exactly wrong with the trailer of “Cats”?
Nobody seems to believe in “Cats” at that point. And here’s why.
- The design of the characters is awful
Well, I think I speak for the entire Internet here.
Nobody can look at those CGI-ed humans with tails and think “oh, that’s cute”. Their moves are unnatural and awkward, alas least of everything do they remind of actual cats.
Even the Instagram filters are less scary then this:
With all due respect to Judi Dench, this is a fuel for nightmares.
Finally, some of the characters seem to be wearing furs too (and just so you know, in theory they are cats) – isn’t that like majorly fucked-up?
Either way, the character design leads to this second point.
- It totally has the horror vibe attached to it
When the trailer arrives to the moment of “This holidays season you will believe”, I’m honestly afraid of its meaning.
These two minutes feel like a truly brain-hurting horror movie – it makes the “Midsommar” trailer look like a child’s play. Even the singing, though technically great, oozes some sort of malevolent aura. And the more I watched it, I realized it’s a wet dream of Tim Burton unraveling – an overly artificial acid trip that leaves your mind damaged.
Last, but least:
- Nobody really wanted this to happen
There’s plenty of remakes, reboots and adaptations every year. Hollywood actually loves a good old novel, as if there aren’t any creative screenwriters out there.
But some things just should not turned into a film.
That was the case with Adam Sandler’s atrocious “Pixels”. Literally nobody had to see it. And that’s exactly the case with “Cats”. It might be just too difficult to bring it to a big screen.
Any chances “Cats” will be good?
Well. I wouldn’t count on that. Not after the only real reaction possible here is this: