Notes On: Scarecrows (2017)

If you don’t expect too much from a horror movie, the Canadian “Scarecrows” is exactly your thing.

Four teens go on a weekend trip to the beach in Ontario. They stop on the way to see a lagoon, right next to a cornfield. The lovely day turns ugly, when they enter the farm – against the will of its creepy owner.

You should be scary to birds, not humans“, says one of the girls after smoking a thick joint. She obviously mean a scarecrow. Paraphrasing her words, horror movies should be scary, not funny. However, there are exceptions.

The director of “Scarecrows”, Stuart Stone, shamelessly incorporates the most awful cliche known in the genre. Indeed, his movie is about four teens, who are loose, horny and highly irresponsible. What could possibly go wrong, right?

scarecrows-review-cultural-hater-3

Surprisingly, these teens achieve something that most of their horror-peers cannot – they are likeable.

The two gonzos who bring their second halves on the trip are like Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels from “Dumb and Dumber”. Mike Taylor and Umed Amin constitute a well-paired duo, because they are aware of the dumbness of “Scarecrows” plot. The same applies to their female partners too. The entire cast mocks their characters, which gives them freedom to say the utterly bad lines that the script offers.

While we’re at it, Stone isn’t a very prolific writer either. Joined by Adam Rodness, the two filled “Scarecrows” with a lot of cringeworthy moments. One of the absolute tops was Mike Taylor trying to slip past a barbwire surrounding the cornfield. As a result, his leg gets trapped, the skin is cut, whilst the entire scene is the most ridiculous “how can we push the characters toward the killer” ideas I’ve seen in years.

scarecrows-review-cultural-hater

The fact that “Scarecrows” is not a good movie, doesn’t preclude it being enjoyable. There is a few scenes to curl your hair. The scares are mainly provided by the farmer – a chubby, kinda fetishy-pornstar version of gunslingers from Sergio Leone movies. Which totally blends in the movie to be honest. In the end, it’s as corny as his farmland.

Scarecrows (2017)

Dir. Stuart Stone

Cast: Four teens and a creepy farmer

Hate Grade: 5/10

Want more horror reviews? Read why you shouldn’t watch “Gehenna: Where Death Lives” and why “Terrifier” is a sweet campy tribute to the era of 80s’ slashers.

Share your thoughts